Change and New Beginnings

Many of us will be preparing for a change: new school, new job, off to university, leaving university or even buying a new car in September. 

I feel change is a big challenge to most of us. Sometimes change is obvious and tangible and sometimes our change may not be as apparent.

Is there a deeper, possibly more meaningful part of you, which is buried, that might not be totally transparent? What about shifting job quality, changing relationships, personal development... or something you've not yet discovered? Some stuff is clear and apparent. 

“Habits can creep up on us and they can become deeply entrenched. I am not advocating that all habits are wholly bad; they can and do make life easier and often richer, but can you recognise aspects of your life that might give you slightly less than you’d like? ”

I believe many of us, despite having lots of apparent success, and possibly being lucky to be living here and not in a war zone or starving, have a hollow sensation inside...a felt sense that we are missing something... that a part of our lives are incomplete and we are not satisfied by being comfortable alone.

Some of us can feel a distant beckoning, even a longing to be in touch with this neglected part of us, but struggle to find it... to pinpoint it... some of us give up searching, which might be considered sad if you believe that we only have one life. 

That hidden element that may give you more fulfilment is in there somewhere, but often it's hard to see... Hard to find... Hard to define. Even when it is discovered, acclimatisation usually takes a while. Even when this new way of living or being can be defined and articulated many of us fear the spectre of change. Change that will defy what we historically and presently think we are psychologically easy with. That sheltered existence, which we recognise but which still makes us feel dissatisfied.

Often this change is not a radical lifestyle about-face; not a wholesale alteration of your personality, but a modification that will retain most of the bits you're happy with. Often, it's a set of subtle modifications to the way you operate. One persons dissatisfaction is different from another persons dissatisfaction; one persons more meaningful lifestyle is different from the next persons... everybody’s phenomenological perception is unique, subjective, idiosyncratic.

“Discovery, awareness and getting close to your individual aspirations and then being able to live in a way that provides you with personal satisfaction is often hard to achieve on your own. ”

Finding a way to sit congruently next to your true self and embrace change, which may bring about not only contentment, but also exciting challenges and achievements - and even possibly an occasional splash of spontaneity - is possible. 

By Shane Lutkin, lead Psychotherapist at Emotionalskills. 

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