Intelligence Quotient or Emotional Intelligence: Does a high IQ equal a high EI?

Cognitive intelligence or IQ is not simply book learning, a specific educational ability or having a good memory. It is a wide-ranging intellectual or cerebral proficiency that involves the capacity to reason, organise, explain complicated situations, think abstractly, understand intricate thoughts, absorb information rapidly and acquire wisdom via experience.

So, what Is Emotional Intelligence? According to ‘Psychology Today’:

Emotional intelligence is the ability to identify and manage your own emotions and the emotions of others. It is generally said to include three skills: emotional awareness; the ability to harness emotions and apply them to tasks like thinking and problem solving; and the ability to manage emotions, which includes regulating your own emotions and cheering up or calming down other people.

“Nearly… I personally think that the awareness factor supersedes the control or management of emotions; it’s not quite enough to control or suppress. ”

Acceptance, along with flexibility replacing rigidity in your reactions, and your becoming closer to your own true self is the route towards Emotional Intelligence. When a person is aware and accepts who they really are, they can live with and express their emotions calmly and enjoy interpersonal relationships appropriately and empathically.

Anyway, let’s get back to, “Are clever people automatically psychologically balanced people?”

The answer is NO.

“You may know people who are very cognitively bright people and yet they struggle with emotive issues. ”

A bit glum, self-doubting, irritable, anxious, missing ‘it’ with loved ones, living a sort of facade or just experiencing a hollow feeling that there is something else… something more.

There are hundreds of ‘feelings’ words, a massive sensitive tapestry, but if you ask someone. “How are you?” the response will probably be fine, ‘could be better’, or OK.

Simplistic thought processes are a bit of a demon to the emotionally knotted person, i.e. this is good and that is bad. Some people might consider the following to be wrong: people not using indicators, people with silly hats, elbows on the dinner table, people who hug all the time, celebrities. Conversely things that are right might be: holding doors open, saying good morning, good hygiene, community spirit, smart dress…Miss these ‘rules’, and chances are someone, somewhere, will be agitated. 

So, how can we develop our Emotional Intelligence? Looking at things in a diverse way or having a slightly easier going attitude to what happens and how it happens might engender feeling OK about things and it might even help you reason with added clarity. 

I reckon if you play around with acceptance of yourself, acceptance of others and acceptance of differences - coupled with a portion of genuine self-awareness - Emotional Intelligence will be within your grasp.

Many people work hard to become better ‘human doings’ and neglect that notion that first and foremost they are a ‘human being’.  Possibly, they do what they think they should do rather than what feels authentically true within them. 

Sign up to our newsletter

Keep up to date with news and tips for managing emotional tension and guidance on ways to lead a fulfilling life.
View our latest newsletter here.