LIFE OPTIMISATION

Many of us rush around, pushing and shoving and trying to achieve as much as they conceivably can into their lives...

Often these same people feel guilty about relaxing or spending time with loved ones, they are not working at something and not working, even if subconsciously is bad. Their self-concept, or how they want to be and who they want to be perceived as takes over; it becomes distorted. I spend many hours with clients who are trapped in acting as a ‘human doing’ when they are also a ‘human being’. 

In this modern-day world both doing and being are essential but getting the balance right is often challenging. There are things we need to do, but we should carefully consider what we really want to do and not just hurry past these valuable elements in our life at the expense of our personal wellbeing and the relationships we have with people who are close to us. 

There is an emotional association with always being busy and how some people live a certain way because they think they should, must, have to or ought to rather than the way they authentically want to. Some of us lose sight of who we authentically are and therefore cannot readily grasp what they want to do, what their authentic life balance is.

Try resisting of your automatic pilot and move into awareness and mindfully contemplative your existence. Think long and hard about your life and answer this question as honestly as you can, “What are the things and who are the people in this world that are truly most important to me?” Try and ask yourself, “How do I feel deep down when I answer this question?” Usually, the reaction to this expressive enquiry is a short list of interests and a small number of people, it only sometimes includes work. 

Very often the clients I talk with have created a life where these ‘most important things and loved people’ come second or are neglected altogether. In a distortion of their genuine aspirations some people are living a sort of false life and in reality, they are ignoring the things that they actually enjoy and frequently upset the people they love. 

Poor relationships, stress, irritation, low mood and emotional fatigue can all result from not being in touch with and following a lifestyle which is fully in line with your true self. 

There is also a faction amongst us who think they are born in a certain way and cannot alter. I believe genetics is responsible for an incontestable amount of our character, but we develop habits. We can definitely change our bad habits and move towards who we truly are and toward some semblance of life optimisation.

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