Optimise your life

Many people rush around, pushing and shoving and trying to squeeze as much as they possibly can into their years on this planet. Often these same people feel guilty about sitting still or not ‘doing’ something.

My colleagues and I spend many hours with clients who are trapped in acting as a ‘human doing’ when they are also a ‘human being’. 

In this modern world both doing and being are essential but getting the balance right is sometimes difficult. There are things we need to do, but we should carefully consider what we really want to do and not just hurry past these valuable elements in our life at the expense of our personal wellbeing and the relationships we have with people who are close to us. 

“​There is a psychological comparison with always being busy and how some people live a certain way because they think they should, must, have to or ought to rather than the way they authentically want to. ”

There is also a faction amongst us who think they are born in a certain way and cannot alter. I believe genetics is responsible for an undeniable quantity of our makeup, but our environmental conditioning is what really makes us who we are and dictates our way of being. 

Try stepping out of your automatic pilot mode and into awareness or a contemplative state. Then think long and hard about your life and answer this question as honestly as you can, “What are the things and who are the people in this world that are truly most important to me?” Try and ask yourself, “How do I feel deep down when I answer this question?” Usually the reaction to this emotional enquiry is a short list of interests and a small number of people. 

Very often the clients we talk to have created a life where these ‘most important things and loved people’ come second or are neglected altogether. In a distortion of their actual desires some people are living a sort of false life and in reality, they are ignoring the things that they genuinely enjoy and upsetting the people they love. 

Poor relationships, stress, irritation, low mood and emotional fatigue can all result from not being in touch with and following a lifestyle which is genuinely in line with your true self. 

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