More Client Stories…
Here’s more from previous clients & how their experience with Emotionalskills helped them…
A'S STORY
My partner and I received relationship counselling. When we first came to Emotionalskills, I was very lost within myself and my marriage. I needed help to move on.
In the beginning, as a female, I felt a male therapist might not understand my feelings. I quickly realised that this was not the case. Often, our therapist was a go between. He was considerate of our feelings and used his own skills to achieve an outcome that met both of our needs.
I come away from our sessions feeling that life needs to be lived in the here and now. I don’t want to dwell on the past, I want to take small steps forward. I know I can’t change the past. I feel I can move on with my own independence. I feel stronger as a person and more confident in dealing with what life may throw at me in the future.
We couldn’t have got through our difficulties without our therapist's help, knowledge and understanding. I hope I can use the skills he has shared with me to enrich my life.
R'S STORY
I was sad and emotionally distressed, but trying to keep it hidden. I felt very down, anxious and constantly teary. I put off making an appointment for so long but I’m so relieved that I did. My Emotionalskills therapist made me feel very comfortable when I was talking about my problems and myself.
Talking about my feelings and decisions in a safe, comfortable environment helped me to rationalise any negativity. It made me feel less alone.
The ‘Feelings Exercise’ enabled me to admit, deep down, how I had been feeling. This meant I could address these emotions and start dealing with them.
I now feel lighter, happier and calmer. I’m beginning to have different, healthier, more positive thought processes and I am more aware of the negative ones that previously led into a spiral of hopelessness but rarely do anymore.
A massive thank you to my therapist.
B'S STORY
I was mentally unstable, angry, upset and shocked. On top of this, I was depressed and had lost a sense of myself. I was embarrassed at having reached a point where my behaviour was affecting my children and felt nervous at the prospect of sharing my inner feelings with a therapist.
My sessions followed a path in what could have been a very prescriptive process, but my therapist adjusted the programme depending on what I was needing to discuss at any given appointment.
This was very important to me - I wanted sessions that could be flexible and fluid and at the same time structured.
My therapist was also able to identify just when I needed to speak to my GP for mental health assessment.
The diversity of the areas that we looked at helped me to understand myself better. Things like learning to believe in my aspirational mantra, learning to ‘look at’ my feelings and my reactions to those feelings, using a mindfulness approach in anxiety inducing times, as well as on a day to day basis.
I’ve been able to, and am still learning to, use these new skills. I remain scared and upset at times but am adjusting well to a new future. Thank you.
S'S STORY
When I came to Emotionalskills I was very low, my mood fluctuated wildly, I was anxious a lot of the time and I had a clenching in my stomach.
These were feelings I didn’t understand, as I had never felt them before. I couldn’t make decisions and sometimes felt confused. My therapist was always sincere, always responsive, always accepting, and I felt we developed a very sound and helpful therapeutic relationship.
For me, just being able to talk to someone non judgemental and accepting, helped ease me. The Emotionalskills step-by-step approach gave me reassurance. I particularly liked the mindfulness and felt sense work.
I still have a slight unease from time to time, but now I can explore it, understand what is happening, and manage it.
S'S STORY
I was emotional, moody and suffering from anxiety.
Sessions at Emotionalskills have helped me become calmer and more confident in stressful situations. It’s made me think more outside of the box and I’ve learnt to cope better emotionally.
I feel confident; I feel like I’ve really benefitted from the sessions and I’ve learnt that it’s great to talk about how you are feeling.
L'S STORY
I was anxious, chronically procrastinating, unable to plan, generally unhappy and very stressed.
I worked through an excellent programme that was tailored to my needs. It helped me to talk about my feelings and thought processes. I received guidance on ways to place feelings and break tasks down while working mindfully. The ‘Speech Patterns’ element was a useful exercise to consider and practice with my wife and children.
My therapist was very professional, kind, knowledgeable and easy to talk to.
I am now calmer, happier and able to organise my life. I’m able to start tasks with ease and in a more mindful, in touch with my felt sense, way.
F'S STORY
I had particular fears about my parent's inevitable demise. These feelings had arisen following on from the breakdown of a significant relationship. At the same time, I also felt extremely frustrated with myself and my overall lack of achievement.
I enjoyed the open discussions at my sessions and the structured approach.
I am now a lot more fluid and flexible in my attitude. The lows have gone and my fears have been reduced. I am far more productive and can see my true potential.
R'S STORY
I was suffering with very low self-esteem and was always reacting in anger and hurt in any given emotional situation. I was struggling to make decisions and believe in myself.
The Mindfulness sessions, Feelings, Timeline and Focusing exercises, were very beneficial. My therapist was always available when I needed him and was very supportive.
I’m now ok. I have more confidence and trust in myself. I don’t feel stuck. I know I’m going to be ok and whatever happens I know I can work through it.
J'S STORY
When I first came to Emotionalskills I was sad and felt like I had no alternatives. Things couldn’t have got any worse.
My therapist was patient and let me discuss issues when I felt comfortable and ready.
The most comforting thing was being able to chat things through without any judgement.
Following on from my sessions, I’m now more understanding and open about my feelings with the people in my life.
H'S STORY
I was confused, angry and emotionally unintelligent.
My therapist was extremely understanding of my needs.
She was very good at introducing parts of her life story into the sessions and she acted as a counter balance to my self-centredness.
Being able to tell someone the significant parts of my life story without judgement helped hugely. I was given guidance on the way forward to congruence.
N'S STORY
I was a bit of a mess… upset, angry, stressed and very unhappy. My sessions at Emotionalskills were very useful. It was easy to talk about my issues without feeling that I was being examined and judged.
Without a doubt, talking to my therapist helped. I found the ‘Timeline’ exercise really helpful; to look back at my life and write things down was a real eye opener.
I’m a lot better than I was. I understand my mind and feelings far more than I did.
A'S STORY
When I first came to Emotionalskills I was a bit of an emotional wreck. I was insecure, paranoid and depressed. My therapist was warm and friendly and very open. I felt really comfortable talking to her and she helped me understand myself.
I was able to express myself without feeling judged.
After numerous sessions with my therapist, I come away with a better understanding of myself and others. I recognise when I’m feeling low and I know how to deal with it and understand that it will pass.
E'S STORY
When I first came to Emotionalskills, I was unsure about myself – who I was and what I had to contribute. I found talking one to one a bit awkward but my therapist, Kirsty, made me feel at ease and enabled me to talk through my feelings. I could be honest with her and she would be honest back.
I think I am still on a journey; realising and overcoming barriers, but it has started and I feel able to move forward.
C'S STORY
When I first came to Emotionalskills I was confused and anxious.
Talking about my current concerns, and how they relate to my past experiences, has helped me make sense of my thoughts and feelings. I’m able to face up to issues and feel less scared of new situations. I felt encouraged and safe having someone non-judgemental listening and offering advice.
I now feel more positive about life and how to move forward with things.
O'S STORY
My therapist, who was kind, relatable, welcoming and trustworthy, was able to give me the tools and advice to help me work through my problems. On a few occasions, the guidance was maybe slightly forthright, but this did make me reflect so it wasn’t negative. The course has been very helpful guiding me towards choosing paths and decisions that are better for my wellbeing and future.
When I first came to Emotionalskills, I was very distressed due to an emotionally draining relationship and a bad break up.
I felt like I wasn’t going to have a good future and believed the bad things said to me during that relationship were true. I couldn’t stop believing them. I was closed off, angry and dealing with grief.
Working through the different exercises, such as the ‘thoughts and feelings are not facts’ sheets, was really useful. Discussing underlying issues allowed me to realise where everything was coming from.
I now feel I’ve found myself and when I do have a ‘moment’, or ‘bad thought’, I am able to help myself. Day by day, I’m learning to put myself first.
T'S STORY
The Emotionalskills process is life changing, or at least it has been for me. I couldn’t have come across it at a more apt time.
When I first started at Emotionalskills I was very vulnerable and experiencing suicidal thoughts. I had hit an emotional brick wall.
My sessions helped me tremendously in terms of relationship guidance. It helped me get out of the dark and confused place I was in and with tackling my difficult past. I no longer felt alone. I was able to share things that I had never shared. Being told that what had happened to me wasn’t my fault was very comforting.
I now feel lighter and happier, better equipped to deal with life. Plus, I’m so much more confident and self accepting. Thank you.
J'S STORY
When I first started my sessions with Shane (Emotionalskills therapist) I was in a very bad place – borderline thinking of calling it day. I felt a great deal of fear and was pretty much at breaking point.
I thought I was a terrible person and I didn’t understand how to change. I had already tried other counsellors and I hadn’t felt any better.
I immediately related to Shane’s own story and I felt as though he truly understood me as he reassured me.
The Timeline exercise was emotionally difficult to work through but it was significant in helping me place my anger. Once I was able to put my anger aside, it felt like there was a vacuum left.
In order to fill this void, I needed to find out who I was and who I was going to be. I had to release the new me.
By attending the sessions at Emotionalskills, I feel I have been given the energy, the thought process and the conviction to do what I want to do.
The skills I’ve learnt are invaluable; I’m a human being as well as a human doing.
S'S STORY
I felt so clouded… closed in. I was incredibly anxious about certain things, to the extent that I had massive panic attacks. These attacks stopped me from doing things… stopped me from joining in. I would then I have massive regret that I had missed out and this made me feel really low.
It really is good to be able to go through things with someone who understands and then helps you unravel stuff you’ve never thought about before. At Emotionalskills we unpicked my issues slowly and with great care. I can plan without panicking or overthinking and I have also learnt that at times I should take care to stand and stare… relax appropriately. I have gained a new balance and cohesion. Sometimes splitting issues or situations down and taking things one thing at a time… even one day at a time can really help.
Overall I’d say that by being able to put things into perspective, big problems have become small problems…
F’S STORY
I had angry outbursts – shouted at and belittled my wife – I honestly didn’t realise I was doing this, whilst I was doing it…but I felt bad afterwards and became low and confused about it.
Emotionalskills changed my way of thinking and how I feel about things.
I was previously all jumbled up with lots of things all moving at once. I now spend quality time with my wife and children… more in the moment… more mindful. I’ve also learnt how to place things logically and calmly and work is much less stressful.
I now understand my feelings... I worked out how I wanted to be… I use the techniques I’ve learnt to move closer to that person and closer to my family.
W'S STORY
I found Shane after my anger landed me in trouble with the police. I came to Shane confused, contemptuous, very lonely and full of self-doubt. Even though it took me a while to fully relent and really open up I immediately found my weekly sessions cathartic and always looked forward to them.
It wasn't long until I started making real progress and seeing changes in the way I felt and acted outside of therapy.
I no longer carry that knot of anger and stress with me, I'm easier in myself and my confidence has soared; the best thing is I'm more ambitious than I ever thought I would be!
J'S STORY
When I first came to Emotionalskills I was extremely anxious about health, travel, relationships and interacting with people generally. The fact that I could talk about absolutely anything and that nothing was too shameful or petty to bring up was vital and I never felt judged.
I don’t think that anyone can understand anyone’s thoughts and feelings completely, but Shane certainly understood them well enough to help me, and then some. Rather than have all my issues disappear, I now feel confident that I’ll be able to manage them as they come, a skill I’ve learned more valuable than the endless pursuit of perfect equilibrium.
I can see myself in a different way, and I know and accept myself completely.
Shane is someone who seemed to have experienced the lowest of the low, which made both the therapy and my own emotions less intimidating to me.
More than anything, Emotionalskills provided me with someone to talk to. While the CBT and mindfulness in particular helped me tackle deep-rooted stresses and anxieties, it was the knowledge that I had someone to whom I could speak about anything and everything that made the most difference to me.
When I first met Shane, I had gone through 15 years of not talking about things that were bothering me to anyone, neither friends nor family, and there were things I just needed to say out loud for the first time.
The years of not talking about my problems and bottling up my emotions had made me bitter and dismissive, and there were many sessions where I would simply stare at Shane with my arms crossed and vehemently disagree with everything he said. But Shane persisted, even when I felt ready to give up. To have someone as kind an as empathic as him to rely on throughout my time in therapy has been absolutely invaluable to me, and I cannot thank him enough for that.
Today I approach my problems, my fears and insecurities in a more congruent manner. My time with Shane has taught me a lot about myself and why and how I react to things the way I do. I sit well with who I am, and feel ready to live a life, that for a while, I thought had been wasted.
Q'S STORY
Eventually I realised that I had totally underestimated the distress these outbursts gave my wife and children. I just couldn’t see the damage I was doing.
My family say I’m easy to live with now
The confidentiality aspect of our sessions was liberating… I felt could be myself… privately and safely. The self-awareness part of Emotionalskills was really fascinating… and illuminating. The speech patterns and empathy exercises opened up another side of me… the more sensitive side of me. I am no longer blunt and hurtful… I’m far more thoughtful and I feel a stronger man for it… This ranting and raving no longer enslaves me. As the course progressed I also discovered the link between alcohol and my anger and now I can control my drinking. I’ve also moved onto new challenges and interests.
N'S STORY
I had angry outbursts – shouted at and belittled my wife. I didn’t even realise I was doing this. I felt bad afterwards and couldn’t understand why. I was incredibly knotted up at work and was always making silly mistakes and getting frustrated.
Emotionalskills changed my way of thinking and how I felt about things. I now spend quality time with my wife and children. I am more in the moment, more mindful. I now understand my feelings and have become more self-aware.
I was sort of all jumbled up with lots of things all moving at once. I worked out how I wanted to be and I began to move closer to that person.
I’m no longer stressed at work… more measured and I’m closer to my family… more relaxed… I can actually feel in touch with them.
T'S STORY
My mother died soon after I was born and whilst my father did his best, he worked long hours and I became independent very young. I skipped school in favour of work and cash... ran with a bike gang for a few of years, had a few ‘run in’s’ with the law for drinking and fighting, etc.
To avoid I prison I joined the Para’s; whilst serving with the armed forces I was injured quiet badly, so reluctantly I left the army. By 30 I was extremely confused and frustrated with civilian life.
The problems associated with change started to pile up. I could not accept other people’s ways, or views, or logic. My way of life was rigid and disciplined… like the military.
I was always on the edge… It would just take someone to take a wrong look, an unrelated action, or a mere gesture of the hand for me to react angrily… verbally or physically. I would get really angry and upset co-workers, my family and even complete strangers.
I knew I needed help and eventually went to my GP. She gave me a leaflet and said, “Give this a try.” As there was no other help about, I did.
Emotionalskills is not a quick fix, you have to work at changing the way you see and feel things and above all be honest with yourself... but it works.
I have changed and I feel more relaxed and grounded. My family has really seen the change for the better and they no longer expect me to explode at every small thing.
My job is high pressure, but the people who I need to give tasks to now respond more cooperatively and constructively to me. Really importantly… I have got in touch with my feelings and now I am really close to my teenage son.
P'S STORY
I had severe social anxiety. In places where there were lots of people and banter I used to prepare and shield myself with alcohol, which nearly always spoilt occasions. Even one on one meetings like dates were often ruined by drink. I desperately wanted to be more relaxed in myself and come out of my shell.
Completing the Timeline really helped my self-awareness and self-understanding, especially when we linked it with some theory. I had blocked a lot of stuff out, but placing it all was really helpful.
I’m a lot more relaxed. I’m far more confident than I was and I’m gaining confidence as I go on.
Mindfulness and Focusing, or getting in touch with my felt sense has relaxed me. My personal mantra and changing habits are things that really helped me as I moved on. Overall I’ve gained the strength to stop my drinking permanently and this means I can enjoy social events instead of them passing me by.
L'S STORY
When I first came to Emotionalskills I was stressed, lost… I didn’t know how to change. There was no clear direction and I couldn’t find a way to move forward.
My sessions have allowed me to recognise patterns of behaviour in myself and others. Exercises, such as ‘FAB’ (which explores the notion of flexibility, not fixity, awareness, acceptance and balance) and ‘Mindfulness’ have enabled me to find my own conclusions autonomously. I can now see how I truly feel and how I am going to move forward.
I am aware, fluid, calm and understanding of challenges, past and ongoing. I have a toolbox that enables me to reach decisions and choose the right outcome for me. I know I’ll meet challenges, but I feel optimistic that I’m armed to make those decisions.
I really appreciate everything that Shane has done. I’m in a much happier place now.
B'S STORY
When I first came to Emotionalskills I was an absolute mess. Everything was overwhelming, I felt sad and constantly on edge.
Working through the Emotionalskills course with Kirsty, who was warm and understanding, has been a huge help. She was very caring and genuinely empathetic and I felt comfortable enough to talk about everything and anything.
How do I feel now? Amazing! I never knew that I could feel this contended or tranquil. I’m so, so happy with how I’ve changed.
I feel like a new version of myself.
F'S STORY
I was a very irritable man, and in some cases angry, in particular towards my partner. I felt stuck and unable to see a way forward to ease my worries.
I found my sessions with Shane very useful and the different elements of the programme have meant that I now have a better understanding of the root causes of my frustration.
I now have a toolbox that I can draw upon to help me in the future.
I am aware that moving forward, I need to continue with what I have learnt in order that I don’t slip back into bad habits.
W'S STORY
Having someone to speak to helped lift the weight from my shoulders; it helped me find some peace. And the techniques shown to me have made it easier to handle certain situations.
Kirsty, has made me realise that I wasn't born angry and after my sessions with her, I now feel a lot calmer in myself.
T'S STORY
My Emotionalskills sessions have been really good and a great help in moving forward.
I have been able to talk to Kirsty freely and openly about my difficult issues in a comfortable environment.
This whole experience has been very fulfilling and I would recommend it to others who are struggling with personal problems that are bringing them down.
R'S STORY
When I first came to Emotionalskills I was insular, withdrawn, low, numb…. I had anxiety and would often get the shakes as well as panic attacks.
My sessions helped me to slowly unthread and detangle cables of overthinking. I found the speech patterns exercise particularly enlightening and useful and am now much better at empathising.
My self dialogue is so much more positive - I no longer ‘brain fart’.
One of the main things I have learnt is the power of meditation and the benefits of giving my brain a deliberate break and clearing space in my mind.
Previously, I just wallowed in my thoughts and sunk into a low trough and switched off. I am much more aware of my thought patterns now and if I begin to think in a negative way.
I’m pleased to say that I’ve stopped taking medication; I am open, relaxed, able to process and deal with ‘real stuff’ and I’m happier than I’ve ever been.
I can’t imagine a therapist doing more to help me than Shane.
O'S STORY
It’s hard to think about the situation that I was in when I first came to Emotionalskills. I could hardly get out of bed and I was suicidal and I had spent time in hospital. I was too scared to drive. I sat there and couldn’t do anything…. I hated what was going on in my life.
I was impatient and wanted to skip everything. Initially sceptical about therapy, I felt comforted that Shane had also gone through a psychological collapse and was now in a good place.
The Timeline exercise brought up a lot of memories and I began to see why I had become who I was – someone who was constantly worried about the future.
The Mindulness activity was really helpful; the meditation was great as it helped give me some respite from the constant worries.
Getting in touch with my felt sense, how I felt inside, allowed me to understand my issues. Each stage of the Emotionalskills programme helped guide me towards feeling better.
It feels like I’ve been through a transformation. I’m more active now and sociable, things don’t worry me so much. Even before I was poorly, I worried, but now I’m quite chilled about most things.
At one stage I thought I’d be unemployed forever. Now I’ve got a job I really enjoy and I look forward to things.
I’ve learnt how to make the most out of life.
G'S STORY
I came to Emotionalskills because I struggled to focus in class at school and even in every day conversations. I was coming up to ‘A’ level exams and I was having difficulties planning my revision. This lead to me being stressed and ended in no revision happening.
Overall, I found my Emotionalskills sessions to be a really good experience. I was able to talk to someone confidentially about anything I wanted and it helped give me some clarity.
The Speech Patterns exercise was particularly useful and is something that I think I’ll turn to again, now and in the future.
Shane showed me how I could plan an exam revision timetable and split it all up and break it down into topics. I could clearly see what I needed to do and this was really beneficial.
The planning eased me and I then felt I could focus and concentrate. The plan also included relaxing and down time, which gave me a balance.
I felt comfortable in Shane’s company and trusted him and his knowledge to help me move forward.
A'S STORY
I used to be unsure of myself and very nervous.
If I had a problem I couldn’t deal with, I would run away, returning home to my comfort zone.
I felt pressure to participate in social events that I was uncertain about – I thought, “I should do this,” rather than thinking, “What do I actually want to do?”
I was uncertain about my identity and what I should do in order to fit in. I was scared to be alone. I felt I had to have someone around and tried to make others happy and comfortable whilst neglecting myself.
This gave me anxiety and sometimes made me feel low. By visiting my Timeline with Kirsty (Emotionalskills therapist) and learning why I had become who I had become, I began to feel and think differently about myself.
Learning to live mindfully and placing events and feelings appropriately and getting in touch with my felt sense released me and allowed me to take myself more seriously.
Now I am more self-aware and I have discovered my identity. I realised that I could be independent and value my own decisions and feelings. I took ownership of my life.
Thankfully, I can now place and deal with issues that previously overwhelmed me. I do things on my own terms.
P'S STORY
When I initially went to Emotionalskills I was really quite disorientated… very insecure, dejected and feeling pretty hopeless. I had completely messed up my 'A' levels.
My girlfriend had left and gone to university and I was full of self-doubt. I was initially doubtful if Shane could help me, but slowly we worked through my issues. Originally I talked about my becoming a plumber or going into the army to get a trade… I craved stability... security.
I recently got offered a place at Cambridge University. I don’t think I’d have ever applied had it not been for seeing Shane at Emotionalskills
I can remember being encouraged to think creatively and discover what I truly wanted. Eventually, I realised I was underselling myself. I started to believe in myself and was inspired to resurrect my education.
M'S STORY
I was fearful and nervous of change and at the start I was resistant to the idea that I could change. For example, the ‘Focusing’ and the ‘felt sense’ exercises were a little airy fairy for me… and I felt the same about the ‘Mindfulness’ activity, but once I gave mindfulness a chance was really good… really useful.
Living mindfully and stopping and thinking… breaking down issues and exploring them, rather than rushing in and making a big mess. It has really helped me.
The ‘speech patterns’, communication section has made me easier within myself and I’m better at interacting with people and making friends… I’m more likeable.
The changing habits and reconditioning statements parts are all very good, but need to be used regularly until they become sort of spontaneous… natural.
One habit I changed while I was with Emotionalskills was I consuming alcohol. I was drinking a lot of alcohol in a form of self-medication and now I drink none.
My therapy sessions at Emotionalskills have enabled me to manage my moods better; I’m less irritated these days…. I really didn’t realise how fixed and stuck in my ways I was.
On this course, I found discovering my self and how I’d become the person I was eye opening. This has opened up new parts of my life… at work and at home.
L'S STORY
When I first started I wanted a quick fix. I ended up with something deeper, which has helped me long term.
I was sort of coping on the surface but underneath I was depressed. My way of dealing with that was to over compensate and work excessively hard at my job. It was the one bit of my life that I felt positive about. I didn’t want to lose that; I felt I didn’t have much identity outside of work.
What the course showed me is that by busying myself with work and motherhood, I was neglecting myself and the things that were important to me.
This was having a detrimental effect upon my health, and my children were not benefitting from their mother, as they should be.
Self-discovery, talking and thinking about the things I liked and disliked about myself broke down the big issues – The self-awareness Timeline section made a lot of painful stuff just go away.
I accepted things, got rid of self-blame and stopped hating myself.
What I found very freeing and liberating was that I was I could identify actual faults in how I thought about my life and myself and change rather than just be hopelessly stuck.
B'S STORY
I approached Emotionalskills after a chat with a friend who had used the service before. Although I was not angry constantly, I had started to notice that I was having explosive outbursts more frequently and that my exaggerating or catastrophising of certain situations was negatively affecting my way of thinking.
As the sessions progressed, I realised that I had to come to terms with accepting reality and adopt an adaptable, flexible outlook on life…to learn not to see things as so rigidly black or white.
Talking to Kirsty (Emotionalskills therapist), about current situations in my life, helped me to understand how to embrace and accept certain scenarios, rather than react badly.
K'S STORY
I was really anxious about all sorts of things: I felt lost generally, stuck in the past, worried about the future, stressed about family problems, trapped in a bad relationship, in the wrong job… just very stuck.
After spending a period of time with Emotionalskills and gaining a better understanding of my emotions I now feel very different. A lot has changed in my life.
I am more aware of my way of thinking and feeling. I recognise my ‘triggers’ and have ‘brakes’ I can use. I also have a better appreciation of the thoughts and feelings of others around me.
I’m happy to say that I can now look to the future and feel more balanced in myself.
I can control my emotions much better and the small things don’t get to me as they once did. I feel less rigid in my thoughts about the future and any plans I make. With my new found confidence it’s much easier to make decisions about myself. I genuinely feel hopeful.
D'S STORY
I came to Emotionalskills worried that my anger was re-emerging and I was afraid that I couldn’t control it. Irritability was having a major effect on my personal life and I was short-tempered and sharp or blunt at work.
Self-awareness and learning about my long list of personal inhibiting rules gave me a clearer insight. Then recognising and changing bad habits and developing and replacing them with practices closer to my true self really helped. The guided meditation and being mindful in life generally has eased me.
I found the whole process like a practical step-by-step personal development course, which I can use forever.
I communicate differently at work. People have noticed and mentioned a new positive approach. I have a more supportive attitude and this is more productive.
At home I listen. I am more understanding and I take my time. I support and empathise whereas previously I just simply neglected these things.
C’S STORY
As a child I was treated badly by most people, including my family. I was bullied at school and at work and controlled by abusive partners. My self-esteem was incredibly low and I felt truly worthless and hopeless.
I always felt a lesser person when I compared myself with others. I felt I didn’t deserve anything better. Eventually I just couldn’t cope with my life. My feelings were out of control. I was perpetually sad and low, nervously disorganised and I started to get upset in an irritable way.
I found the Emotionalskills website and started having sessions. It took a while, but now I have faith in myself.
“I am able to be assertive and I have the strength to make choices, especially about people. Now I decide who I want to have in my life. I have found a new independence.”
In the past I’ve gone from one boring job to another. Now I have got a job that I enjoy, which has prospects and makes me feel like I’m making a difference. My life is more organised and calmer.
I now sleep well and I’m kind to myself, I’ve got nice friends and I give myself time to do things that I want to do.
W'S STORY
I had an uncontrollable temper, which was usually reserved for my wife. To start with I didn’t realise it was happening… what I was doing. Eventually I realised it was a much bigger problem. I went to my GP who referred me to Emotionalskills.
I had totally underestimated the importance of my irritation and frustration and the effect it had on my wife and children over many years. I couldn’t see the damage I was doing.
The self-awareness process was really enlightening and the security of the confidentiality was wonderful – I felt I could be myself privately and safely. The speech patterns and empathy exercises opened up another side of me...a more sensitive me.
I am no longer blunt, forthright and hurtful. I’m far more thoughtful; I’m not enslaved by rules, just more easy-going.
My wife says I’m a better man since I’ve been to Emotionalskills.
I was displaying a weakness by letting anger control me. I feel stronger now because I no longer feel the need to rant and rave.
Through the course I realised I was distorting the real link, for me, between alcohol and anger. I can now control my drinking. I feel fresher and I’ve moved on and have new insights and my energy for work has been renewed.